Def: (Noun) MONG

Sunday Morning Drivers. Jeremy Kyle. Fat Yanks Who Hover Around Leicester Square Wearing Beafeater Hats, Booming, 'Honey, let's get our portrait painted...'. Wayne Rooney. People Who Think The Word Cunt Is More Offensive Than Bitch. Dan Brown Enthusiasts. Sudoku Players. Priests. The Pope. Voice-Over Artists. Bono. Art Students. Drama Students. Students. Political Bores (of the "You cant say youre starving, when there are children dying in Africa!" variety. Yes I can. I can even say I'm glad they're dying if I like. Fuck off). People Who Say I'm not being funny, but... Porn star men (get a haircut, you big-dicked mong). People Who Say The Lottery Won't Change Them. People Who Create MySpace Pages For Pets. Adults Who Read Harry Potter On The Tube. Novelty Tie Wearers. People From The Home Counties. Fat Naturists. Environmental Activists. Paul McCartney. Heat Readers. White South Africans. My Father. Americans. Australians. Radio 1 Listeners. Anthea Turner. Chris Moyles. Jeremy Clarkson. Self-Righteous Men Who Like To Tell Women What's 'Wrong' With Them, For Their 'Own Good'. The Royal Family. Part-time Football Fans. England Car-Flag Owners. Teachers. The Police. Politicians. Shoreditch Cunts. Doctors Receptionists. Dentists. Toni and Guy Employees. People Who Put On Dinner Parties. People Who Fall Over And Try To Pretend They Haven't. People Who Own Ramones T-Shirts And Don't Own A Fucking Record. Parents Who Take Their Kids Out To Smack Them. Posh Parents Who Are 'Hands On' And Think Their Kids Shit Gold And Should Have The 'Artistic Freedom' To Stab Strangers In The Genitals With Toothpaste They've Just Knicked From Waitrose. Parents. Everyone Involved In The British Justice System (aside from criminals). People Who Wear Tie-Dye. Scousers. Born Again Christians. People Who Laugh At Their Own Jokes. Nose Pickers. Loud Eaters. Excessive Perspirers. Dido fans. People Who Quote 'Little Britain'. The Religious. My Mother. Carol Vorderman. Daily Mail Readers. White Peoples Dreadlocks. Self-Help Gurus. Self-Help Book Readers (Eg. The Road Less Travelled By People With More Pressing Shit To Worry About, Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Grimsby). Tofu Eaters. Liberals. Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams Fans. Robbie Williams Fans Family Members. People Who Listen To Robbie Williams Records In Supermarkets And Find Themselves Humming Along. Morning Whistlers. Notting Hill Tarts (One Gucci Slouch Bag? Check! One Pair of Oversized Shades? Check! One Serious Alcohol Addiction, Fucked-Up Relationship With Absent, Rich Parents And Several Stints In Rehabilitative Centres Working Out That Priviledge Has Brought You an Eating Disorder, An Annoying DJ Boyfriend And An Inability To Recognise The Existence of Other Planet Inhabitants? Checkitty Check-Check!). John Prescott. Mrs Prescott. All The Prescott Children. People Who Insist On Ownership Of Shared Armrests. People Who Win By Shouting. My Ex-Partners, Almost Without Exception. Teenage Pilots (if he doesnt know who T'pau are, I'm not fucking flying). Tax Men. Lawyers. Council Tax Administrators. Thatcher (just die you aged hag, and take your lesbo daughter with you. I've seen more convincing trannies on a DSS budget). Dustbin Men (loud cunts).